Survival -The Concluding Part

I felt the ground slip away from beneath my feet. Somehow I felt diminished and ashamed of myself....her courage left me feeling disgusted with my pessimism. I remembered my parents, Ma and Baba invested their lives educating me and giving me a good life. Baba wouldnt let me down, never let me feel I was any different from a son. In a village where daughters were brought up just to be married off..Baba and Ma had laboured to set me off to a posh residential school in the city for a good education. Every small success, be it good grades or a pat on the back from a teacher would set them elated. Tears filled my eyes when I remembered Baba's last words to me, "I am always so proud of you daughter, you never let us down."

Today I realized my folly, I felt I had let Baba down. I had given up on life, forgotten my parents in years after their demise, I had forgotten how much they would have wanted me to live and live happy had they been alive. My marriage was a mistake, my health was my weakness. In the courage of this old lady, I felt my mistake had been living on with the guilt of a previous mistake and my weakness was giving up on life. Tears welled up my eyes at the wake of memories.

I felt a arm on my shoulder,"Beti..you alright?". I turned around and hugged Dadi...and I couldnt stopped sobbing. I cried like a baby, may be for hours. Dadi kept asking," Kya hua beti..what happened". And I wouldnt answer, I cried and fell asleep in her lap. I had found strength in an unknown source.I had rediscoverd life in the most unexpected place on earth. This rainy night had changed the course of events.

The next morning I had made my mind. The rain had stopped...and the scent of wet mud had filled the air. I looked out of the window...I saw children playing in puddles of water. Some of them at the gate, eyeing the fruit laden trees in the farm. One of them picked up a pebble and 'Thak', aimed at a guava on a tree. I saw dadi run out, "you little rascals, keep your eyes off my farm", she held her walking stick in her hand raised in action. I saw the kids run away in fright..and I couldnt stop laughing. I laughed my heart out. i felt happiness return to me after ages.

That afternoon when i was leaving, I caught a glimpse of the neem tree which was dadis memory of Munna. I could imagine a young kid playing with his mother in the shade. The imagination was refreshing. Somehow I knew why Dadi lived on with her memories by the shade of this tree. I had made my decisions today.

I bade my farewell. I had found life again. As I sat in the car, I told my driver, "Turn the car around, we are going to the city. Doctor Sahab ke ghar chalo..lets go to my doctors home."

I wanted to get treated. I wanted to give life a chance. I looked at Dadi as my car moved on the road to life, "Life is beautiful..Thats something I realised today!"