Survival 4

She got up from prayer as I entered, her fingers running over the rudraksha beads of the rosary she held. " You, need soomething beti?"

"Na, just glancing about, who are the people on the pictures?"

She just smiled at my questions, and drifted her eyes towards the wooden frames on the wall. "they, they are my family Maya." She pointed at the picture of a young man in army uniform, "that is my husband, Captain Rajendra Sharma. He was in the army. He is no more though. I was always so proud to be an armymans wife".


"The boy over there, my son Anuj, my Munna. He was my intelligent little boy, even his teachers wouldnt stop praising him. They kept on saying, 'Thats a very bright boy Mrs.Sharma. Your son.' I was so proud of him. He was my happy smiling boy. My brave son. He helped me put up all money to save for his college. He would help me around in the farm. It was not easy for me, when he boarded that loud hissing train for the city. I knew I would be alone. But I knew he needed wings. My son was a bright boy. He wanted to be an engineer, he wanted to be in college. He worked with me to reach him there, but then God didnt want that maybe. He was brave and smiled always, he came back from the city in a week. The doctors said he wouldnt live.Munna has TB, they dint want him in college, cause my Munna was sick. He was still a brave boy, his smiles kept me going, even the day he breathed his last, he was smiling, as he said 'Ma, dont worry', he died smiling on my lap".

She drifted off to nostalgia, i could see tears dripping from her eyes as she wiped them with her saree. I touched her shoulder," You alright..Dadi?".

She looked at me and nodded,"My son was all I had in life. My husband didnt stay with us you know.Sorry for the piece from my past. I get emotional sometimes".

"Your husband..he was away at the army?"

"Not really", she replied as she turned towards the pictures again. "He didnt want us maybe. He lived with his other family. Our marriage was arranged by our parents. He wasnt asked his opinion. Those days nobody would. But then he loved someone else. he stayed aloof from me and Munna. The day his parents died, he went back to Radha, he loved her, he married her. He came back to see Munna once, but all was over. He never returned again. I then came here. This place gave me life, my fathers farm. I have lived here ever since."


I was rooted to the spot, not knowing what to say. Dadi got busy cleaning the frames. She was yelling out to the maid for not cleaning properly. My brain drifted from the scene, I couldnt listen to the voices. I was lost in a world of my own.

"dadi", I asked,"Wasnt it very difficult for you, living alone this way"?"

She paused a moment before she answered me, then a smile escaped her face. "nahin beta. yes i felt alone at times. But i had to live on. I felt lost after Munna went away, but then Munna loved this farm. As long as I am here, I can feel his presence here. he loved that Neem tree in the orchard. My father planted it when I was a kid, and the tree has been there since. Munna also loved it. He would love playing in its shade and I would join him. The memories helped me live. I cant leave the farm alone, you see. How can i stop caring about something my son loved to much. And then those kids at the orphanage, I lived to see their smiles when my gardner would get them their bags of mangoes which grew on my farm. Life has a lot to it beti, I never gave up living. And with so many things to live for, it wasn't really difficult you know."